Cruising Alone

  So, you say you have a sister, and now you have to take care of another? That you want to live up to your father's name, and you can't read about my pain, and nothing's the same? Did you forget that your father saw his own daughter in me... when we didn't even know if we were supposed to be? And I couldn't even look in my father's eyes... because I trusted a coward's lies... while you went about building his incomplete legacy... My father's head hung low because of your discrepancy. He saw his daughter cry for years... and aren't you the one who said you hated my tears? So go on, take your glass of whiskey and say cheers... because you only made me stronger than my fears. You might have broken me and left me for dead— but always remember: I am a father's daughter. What you broke, he built every day. Blamed himself for my crooked ways. He tried to shield me when no one was around... and you thought you could laugh at me while I was on the ground...

  So, you thought I would simply burn in rage While you quenched your passion with another... And when I spoke up against your ridiculous behavior, You dared to say— If it were not for your own sin, I’d have to deal with your brother. So, you could threaten me as much as you like, But when I matched you word for word, You dared to say I belong in a mental ward. Did you honestly think you can clip my wings, And I will vanish, extinct, like a flightless bird? You can't even handle your own dirty work, Always need one henchman or another To hide that smirk. Do you really believe you are a good guy ? Even Hiranyakashipu and Raavan Sent their sisters first, to burn and humiliate— And you can burn me all you want... Not every coal becomes a diamond in the rough. But honey, I was never just coal to begin with.

  Where were these so-called boundaries when I was uncomfortable? When I mirrored your behaviour, suddenly I wasn’t normal? Oh no—seems like I "can't handle rejection"? Yeah, yeah, sure… Or maybe I stayed quiet so I wouldn’t create a scene? Tell me then, MR. GOOD CATCH — Why did you think it was alright to stalk my online profile, Inspecting who commented what? Were you not being a creepy little lurker ? But tell me—did you like the taste of your own medicine ? I guess not. When you can’t tolerate seeing your mother and sister suppressed, When you despise the toxic masculinity in a woman— Then why do you violate her vulnerability in the first place? Where did your laughter disappear when I jested, yaar? Why did you suddenly get so serious? Can’t take a simple joke? How sensitive of you. Maybe you’re overreacting… Maybe you should get a therapist yourself. Geez, have some control over your emotions, man. C’mon, give me a smile… You have such a pretty smile… I really liked ...

  When you have his baby, Always remember how he paraded your "sexy" body, Like you were his goddamn property. But I stood up for you, Even without knowing your story. Because that man has no spine, He’d brag about how he made me whine, How he dimmed my shine, Puffed up with pride, Claiming he’s the only one touched by the divine. He’d mock my belief in something deeper, Sneer at my refusal to measure worth in the shallow, Calling me irrational, Just because I wouldn’t rate people along the hollow. But I see you, Caught in his games, A pawn for his claims, And I hope one day you’ll know— That I spoke for you, Because I saw what he’d do. Not for pity, not for revenge, But because I’ve learned to stand tall in this storm. And while he’ll claim divine favour, The truth is simple— He never even deserved a glimpse of your form. So when you cradle that baby, Knowing this truth I softly hum: You were meant for love, But maybe, Not with this one.

I wrote this poem after listening to Lana Del Rey’s “F ked My Way Up To The Top,” a song that resonated with my own experiences of betrayal and disillusionment.  I guess no one would know, Everyone assumes I am here for a shallow show. Scheming and waiting for the right moment, To put my soul in an endless torment. If that were true, I'd be climbing another pole, Not dig deep and go down the rabbit hole. Easy to throw these pebbles and stones, And I’ll take it until I'm just flesh covered in bones. They say they don’t like my tone, Maybe it’s because I’m in a different time zone. Yeah, love to throw in words like "b*tch" and "wh*re," But they imagined what it would be like to have them on their floor. You talk of God, love, and life partner, Then ask questions like, "What's your favourite colour?" As if I’m a kindergartner. Umm, well I was learning about the xylem, And still, they would have me stay in a mental asylum. Picking on girls with bic...

Have you ever been told you don’t have the right to your own body, voice, or truth? This poem is a defiant response to those who use power, wealth, and manipulation to silence the soul. It’s a powerful declaration that no matter how much they take or distort, your spirit remains untouchable. How often do we allow others to think they can own us, only to realize that, in the end, our souls cannot be taken? You want wealth and power to shield your pride, To silence the shame of what was done To the man, you call your house’s spine. What makes you think you can dangle Toys and jewels, lusting for flesh, To snuff out my voice— A voice you call delusional, Wrapped in dreams of cinematic love? You say you’ve seen the world Through “practical” eyes— What makes you think I was born blind? Blind to the rot and the predator’s games, Blind to the weight of being prey In this filthy, rigged charade? Yes, I cried into the night, Hating the sacred wounds on my body You dared to glorify. But even the...