FACADE

 

You brushed off my life as if I were reading from a book,
A bedtime tale that barely made you look.
You tossed out words like “facade” and “smoke-screen test,”
As if I were a cog, a machine at best.

If I were fake, then who would craft a thousand words?
Diving deep into psychology, where truth is blurred.
From astrology’s wisdom to spirituality’s light,
I searched for answers in the quiet of the night.

Through tarot’s whispers and Peterson’s mind,
Through Sadhguru and Prashant I’d find—
The Bhagavad Gita’s ancient lore,
To know myself, to seek something more.

A thousand talks, a thousand books,
All just to figure out where I stood, where I looked.
I sifted through every memory, piece by piece,
To find the truth, to find some peace.

But lost in shadows, how could I speak?
Was I the fake? Or was I too weak?

I had to work through the darkness, face each shadow,
Even dive deep into the dark side of Kundalini's sorrow.
Trauma, pain, it all flowed through,
I searched for understanding, to see it through.

Every insecurity, every hidden fear,
I had to sit with it while you only sneered.
Still, I kept reaching out to you,
Hoping you'd help me make sense of this, too.

Maybe you would know better,
Since you paraded your pseudo intellect like a trendsetter.
But even when the worst pain has passed,
I’m still learning to integrate all this, to build myself at last.

You skimmed some articles, brief and cold,
While I wrote a thesis on narcissism, bold.
So tell me, was I ever fake?
Or did you strike harder than a simple heartbreak?

How could I fake it when I didn’t know
What was I faking or where to go?
You attacked without pause, without refrain,
I lost my mind, my life, in the pain.

You said those words so carelessly,
Did you forget that till that time, you see,
I wove poems, rich with metaphor and art,
But you only wanted words that could tear apart.

You never dared to read what I had poured,
The weight of each word, what it truly stored.
You laughed as if they were just for show,
Unaware of the depth of each word’s glow.

And now, as I try to rebuild from the broken,
I see the silence in your words unspoken.
I’ll rise from these shadows and reclaim my light,
For my journey is mine, and I’ll stand upright.